Community Paper: Parenting Matters

Parenting today has become extremely difficult given the many circumstances of our fast pace world.  While the challenges continue to grow greater and greater, the importance of parenting is still the same. The way we parent our children shapes our future.  Our future is all we have now, hence the importance of raising our children in the best possible manner.  The style in which we parent our child can have a huge impact on them.

Researchers have narrowed down the parenting styles to three types.  They are authoritarian, permissive and authoritative.  Each has a unique approach to their children and each have impacts that are quite consistent across the board.  Let's take a look at each briefly.

Authoritarian parenting style is low on emotional warmth and nurturing but high in parental direction and control. (Lamanna, 263)  These typically are the parents who have high expectations of them being in charge.  They are more likely to use harsh punishments and to use control.  This parenting style has been associated with a child’s decreased sense of personal effectiveness or mastery over a situation, even among children as young as four.  (Lamanna, 263)  These parents are common and the one's you may have grown up with watching your friends parents.  They are adamant about the rules and feel that the more control they have of their child the more in control they are of how they will turn out.  This has proven to be a false notion.

Permissive parenting style involves little parental guidance.  Although low on parental direction or control, permissive parenting may be high on emotional nurturing.  (Lamanna, 264)  The children of permissive parents are often known as the "spoiled child."  This parenting style is known at times for their neglect of the child because of their lack of direction.  There are high numbers of depression for these children and otherwise poor mental health.  As well as low school performance, behavior problems, high rates of teen sexuality and pregnancy, and juvenile delinquency. (Lamanna, 264)

Authoritative parenting has sometimes been called “positive parenting.”  Child psychologists prefer authoritative parenting style.  Authoritative parenting style is characterized as warm, firm, and fair, combines emotional nurturing and support with conscientious parental direction (although not excessive control).  Authoritative parents consider their child’s wishes and opinions along with their own as they make decisions on how to raise their child.  They are encouraging of their children's achievements, individuality, independence and talents.  While they are encouraging they also set limits with clear communication.  The authoritative style encompasses the parents direction and control coupled with what the children feels and needs.  
Research consistently shows that an authoritative parenting style is the most effective parenting style.  Regardless of family structure, authoritative parents are more likely than others to have children who do better in school and are socially competent, with relatively high self-esteem and cooperative, yet independent, personalities.  The positive effects of authoritative parenting last into adulthood.  When two parents are involved it can be even more effective. (Lamanna, 264)

While each description of the three parenting styles is short and concise I'm sure we can all look at the descriptions and decide which our parents fall into or what we fall into as parents.  I am one who was raised with authoritative parents.  While they were an authoritative style for me, they were more authoritarian for my older brother.  We are both near the age of 30 and are well past being parented.  But he is a completely different person based off of how he was parented relative to how I was parented.  I feel my parenting was much more beneficial and I know if he were to be asked the same question he would feel the same way.  It seems to be quite clear that the best way to produce the healthiest children we need to use an authoritative style and couple our direction with our children's needs.  It gives them the balance we all wish for in life.

Chase

Lamanna, M. A. (2012). Marriages, families, and relationships. (11th ed.). Belmont, California: Wadsworth.